


How Can We Know

by FollyOfWinchester



Series: Nothing Good Will Come [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Scene, Anger, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Biting, Blood, Crying Dean, Episode: s05e18 Point of No Return, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fear, Headcanon, M/M, Rage, Season/Series 05 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-07
Updated: 2013-09-07
Packaged: 2017-12-25 22:43:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/958459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FollyOfWinchester/pseuds/FollyOfWinchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel's pain, confusion, and fury at Dean's recent actions come to a head. Set during s05e18 Point of No Return.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Almost Forever

**Author's Note:**

> If Rape/Non-Con is triggering for you, please feel free to skip this fic. Simply treat Dean's reactions in the following fics as though the alleyway scene had proceeded as it did in canon and he is reacting to Cas's physical abuse.

He had gone down to check on Dean with the intention of clearing everything up. Why had Dean suddenly decided to say yes to Michael? Why were his heated looks and moaned confessions replaced with cold stares and bitter words? What was the purpose of the derisive sexual comments Dean had recently directed at him? How could everything between them have changed so rapidly? Had he done something to upset Dean, and if not, what was all of this about? Castiel was at a loss.

But to have Dean use his concern as an escape route to seek out Zachariah and the other angels? To have him squander everything Castiel had given up by submitting to Michael? This transgression was beyond anything he ever expected from Dean. He was hurt. No, he was beyond hurt. He was furious. He was absolutely furious as he threw Dean against another wall.

“I gave up everything for you and this is what you give to me?!” He wanted Dean to hurt, but more than that, he wanted to make Dean understand his fury. Dean grunted and whimpered as he pulled him away from the bricks behind them only to slam him against the wall even harder. Dean’s eyes searched his face as he attempted to pour all of his pain and frustration and confusion into staring back. He had let Dean violate his vessel’s body. He had treasured Dean’s utterance that they were “in a relationship,” thinking that Dean desired him as much as he had grown to return the feeling. But now? Dean had abandoned him. Dean had taunted him with implications of sexual activities that would seemingly never occur. His rage at the situation spiraled out of control as he let his thoughts build into a frenzy. Castiel wanted Dean. And he was going to have him.

Castiel retched Dean’s collar away from his neck and bit down, immediately drawing blood. Dean cried out in pain and scrambled to escape Castiel’s grasp, but Castiel refused to yield. He bit down harder before pulling back to lick at the blood running down Dean’s shoulder. He then moved to lick the wounds on Dean’s face from his punches and savored the rich salty flavor on his tongue. Dean had stopped looking at him, so he grabbed his jaw and caught him in a blood laden kiss. Dean hissed and tried desperately to pull away, but Castiel held him fast and plunged his tongue into Dean’s mouth. Yes, he would have Dean any way he wanted. He would show, rather than tell, how much pain Dean had caused him. He ground his hips into Dean’s and released his jaw so that he could grab one of his wrists and pin it above his head. He untangled his fingers from Dean’s collar to grab his other wrist and force his hand against his growing erection. Dean shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut before whispering, “No,” but Castiel was too furious and too powerful to be dissuaded. He maneuvered Dean’s hands so that he could pin them both under one palm and began unfastening his own belt and fly. As soon as his erection was free, he went to work on Dean’s pants. Once they were loose around Dean’s hips, he shoved them down enough to clear a path and rubbed his erection against Dean’s entrance. Dean’s tear filled eyes opened wide in what Castiel assumed to be surprise and fear. Good. He was an angel. He should be feared. He should be revered. Dean’s arms wriggled under his grip and he sobbed out frantically, “Cas, please! Not like this! You don’t want it like this! Don’t do this!!”

As Dean pleaded, Castiel watched a tear roll down his cheek and drip from his chin. What was he doing? Why had it come to this? “Why, Dean? Why did you abandon me?”

Dean’s brow furrowed as he locked eyes with Castiel. “Me?! ME?! Why did YOU abandon ME?!”

Castiel squinted and tilted his head and Dean let out a bitter, almost crazed laugh, “You’re the one who threw my necklace back at me like it was fucking garbage! You’re the one who disappeared when I needed you the most, when I’d lost all my fucking hope except for YOU! YOU ABANDONED ME!!”

Castiel looked down at his waning erection and shook his head in silence. He had…abandoned Dean? Did Dean mean his day of inebriation? And what was so significant about the necklace? There were too many questions and they were too emotionally charged to discuss this further. He released Dean and backed away. Dean slid down the wall while tenderly rubbing his wrists and stared at Castiel with a look he had never seen from him before, something so much more than simple fear. He knew this was all wrong. He had just succeeded in pushing Dean further away with his actions. He winced at the thought. There was nothing to say about it now, though. They both needed time. He righted their clothing and knocked Dean unconscious before teleporting back to Bobby’s.

~*~


	2. Don't Tell Me

As Dean comes to, everything in the alley rushes back into his mind. The determination in Cas’s eyes, the cuts and wounds, the taste of his own blood, and finally the panic and fear at not being able to escape, at almost getting raped by a damn angel. He finds himself cuffed to the bed frame and it’s almost too much. He sucks in a breath and looks around for Cas, only to see Sam sitting across from him. He relaxes. _No Cas. No need to be afraid. No need to talk about this._

“How ya feelin’?” Sam looks over at him with that characteristic worried look on his face. 

_I feel like I almost got fucked in the ass by the only thing I still even sort of wanted to believe in._ “Word to the wise: don’t piss off the nerd angels.” But then again, in some ways, he knows Cas had every right to be pissed at him. Plus, Cas had seemed so confused when he had turned the abandonment comment back on him. Maybe he hadn’t meant anything by throwing back the necklace. After all, he did come back and help them after his bender. Maybe he just needed some alone time. Maybe this was all just a huge misunderstanding. He’s definitely not up for what it would take to untangle it all, though. _I REALLY don’t want to talk to Cas about this right now._ He turns his attention to Sam instead, “So, how’s it goin’?”

“Adam’s gone. The angels have him.”

He doesn’t really feel like doing much more than wallowing in sorrow on this stupid cot, but there’ll be plenty of time for sniveling to himself about Cas later, especially once he’s trapped inside his own mind as a Michael suit. It’s time to get back on apocalypse duty. “Where?”

~*~


End file.
